I had recent cause to pore through my story-trunk, which is almost always a cringe-worthy exercise, followed by the opportunity to have a good laugh at my past self.  For those unfamiliar with the term, a story-trunk is the repository of one’s failed writings, the term dating back to the time when the aspiring writer most likely had an actual chest or locker, stuffed full of bound manuscripts, rejection slips and gallons of tears.  Sometimes this would be the bottom drawer, a tea chest in the shed, or a cobweb-wreathed filing cabinet.  These days, the story-trunk is usually a folder on one’s hard-drive, an innocuous icon hiding a multitude of writing sins.

Prior to my recent incarnation as a short-story writer, I had any number of practice novels under my belt.  And ye GODS, these things are bloody awful.  Sigh.  Still, we all gotta start somewhere, and I was well on my way to “write a million words before you stop sucking” by about 2005 or so.  I look fondly on these books, as if they were a dodgy uncle at a family BBQ – they’re embarrassing, but at the end of the day they’re still family.  No regrets, dudes.

In amongst my newbie fantasy novels are a whole swag of maps, lovingly adorned with various details.  Because if you’re gonna suckle from Tolkien’s teat, you may as well indulge in some amateur cartography.  I’ve included some for your amusement:

Around about the time I discovered Terry Pratchett, I decided that humorous fantasy was definitely my thing.  Hence, the Woven World, a Pratchett-esque world springing from the knitting needles of the oblivious Aunt Gladys, aka God.  I remember the mystical kingdom of Strailyer, famous for its chain-mail wearing bogans, hurling boomerangs and beer-cans at their foes.  Glorious.  My main protagonist was Chronick the Teutonic, wielder of the disastrous Scheissenhammer.

Here’s some more classics from ye olde story-trunk:

This is literally a trunk-story!  Gaze upon the glorious world map for “Tusk”, the novel where telepathic elephants have enslaved man-kind.  Aka Planet of the Apes, Battlefield Earth, etc etc.  I was lucky enough to get mentored by fantasy author Tony Shillitoe on an early draft of this, and his byline for this book was “Gladiator in Grey”.  I’m still really proud of how this map turned out, it’s a shame I didn’t spend more time on the writing itself.  You can see an elephant beating a trio of sorry man-slaves, watched cautiously by one of the mammoths of the north, somewhere underneath all that highly improbably geography.  I honestly can’t even look at this book anymore, 18 months of my life given for something I simply can’t fix.  Argh.  I’m still of the belief that a total re-write of “Tusk” is needed, though Peter M Ball will tell you a different story.  Regardless, it hurts my everything.

One piece of advice I’ve been given is to never start a title with the words “Song of’ the so-and-so”.  Note, this has not hurt George RR Martin.  Anywho, I digress.  I give you the world-map for “Song of the Woken Man”, an early novel that seems to have blended elements of the Matrix, the Postman and many the postapocalyptic text.  Many years after a nuclear holocaust, the Kaari, peaceful lizard-riding hunter-gatherer luddites, live cheek-by-jowl with the Mekaari, an advanced society that emerged from the bunkers with all their technological goodies.

A mysterious scientist from before the war awakens from suspended animation, the titular Woken Man.  With crazy psychic powers, he gathers a small group of Kaari, embarking on a quest to unite the two separate societies to combat the EEEEVIL supercomputer Lucius – only to be obstructed by ANOTHER SCIENTIST!  From the SAME BUNKER!  The subtitle of this book could have been “CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG, DESPITE THIS DICKENSIAN BULLSHIT?”

Finally, I leave you with the map for my fantasy/alternate history “By the Dauphin’s Will!”  In this story, I posit that mysterious Outremer (Australia) has been settled by Gaul (France).  I filled a notebook with background details, a potted history, a cast of thousands and an elaborate magic system.  I had a French-speaking friend double-check my translated words, and disappeared down the rabbit-hole called Research for quite a few months.  By the time I was ready to start, I absolutely hated the idea and scuttled it, two chapters in.  Re-reading the idea, this decision was definitely in my best interests…

In summary: maps are fun, but I highly recommend Fiona McIntosh’s method for fantasy cartography – scribble something down on a napkin, and just get on with telling your story 🙂