Ah, the synopsis. That most painful of things, where an author has to compress a novel’s worth of organic sproutings into one or two concise pages. And oh, how we wail and gnash our teeth when called upon to do so.

“It’s just so HARD,” we say. “I don’t WANT TO.”

But here’s the truth; you have to. This is the way a publisher can a) determine your ability to get to the point b) determine that you actually have written a book with a defined beginning/middle/end c) be sold on the sizzle of your steak.

It’s a marketing document, and I don’t think they’re actually that difficult to do. Some folks I know and respect spend inordinate amounts of time on these – with all due respect, I think they’re all crazy. We’re talking weeks, even months of time. On a 1-2 page marketing document.

Here’s what I believe: if you can’t get a synopsis right in an afternoon, you need to hand in your writer card. Here’s the Fisch One-Page/One-Afternoon Synopsis Method.

1) Present tense throughout. Limited or no adjectives.

2) Three or four biggish paragraphs. The first one briefly introduces your protagonist, one or two tag-line style descriptors of your setting, and brushes over the opening act of your novel.

3) Second paragraph introduces the antagonist/conflict, and brushes over the second act of your book. Again, broad strokes, and don’t worry too much about your subplots and the nitty gritty. We’re talking how you would convince someone at a bar to sleep with your book (if that makes sense). If you bore the poor person with a detailed description of your stamp collection, you’re going home alone.

4) Third paragraph goes over your final act, and resolves everything. Don’t do rhetorical questions here: “does she survive the assassination attempt? BUY MY BOOK AND FIND OUT.” the point of the thing is, you have to tell the reader, in present tense, exactly how the conflict is addressed, and how the story resolves.

5) Connect these three biggish paragraphs with one sentence movie-style taglines, just to keep it interesting. This also proves your ability to write succinctly, and provides a bit of life to what might otherwise be a boring marketting document.

6) Close off with a pitching paragraph, something along the lines of this: ‘”Papa Lucy and the Boneman” is a complex fantasy, designed to appeal to readers of Jack Vance and Gene Wolfe. If Gilgamesh found himself on the set of Mad Max, this is the story that might result.’

And that’s IT. That’s all you have to do. Go back over it of course, tighten everything up, take out every unnecessary word, and make it as interesting as you can. If an adjective pops up, kill it dead. I maintain that you can knock one of these out in an afternoon, anything else is just an exercise in masochism.