Some of you may remember my friend Drusilla, the Ditmar Diprotodon. This unlikely mascot from the Pleistocene era has been using my blog to spruik Australia’s national science fiction award since she stumbled into our time-stream back in 2011 or so.
Things have changed for Drusilla. She’s discovered coffee, iPads (problematic given her paws) and of course, the vibrant genre fiction scene found in her home continent. I’ve been a bit wary of disturbing her, given that she is apparently “hibernating”. I swung by her place to see if I could get anything useful out of her this year regarding the Ditmar Awards.
JF: Drusilla! Hey, hello! How are you?
DDD: [groans] What do you want? I’m sleeping.
JF: Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on that. Pleistocene-era Australia didn’t snow during winter.
DDD: What would you know? Were you THERE?
JF: Well, no.
DDD: I was. So piss off. [accepts bucket-sized coffee] Okay, you can stay.
JF: Drusilla, did you have anything to say about this year’s Ditmar Award?
DDD: Seriously dude? As if everyone hasn’t nominated yet. Here’s the hyperlink to my usual spiel, just to save everybody time [mashes iPad with her enormous paw]. Argh, I think I broke another one. Jason, can you..?
JF: Sure. Here it is (http://jasonfischer.com.au/thus-spake-drusilla-the-ditmar-diprotodon/).
DDD: I don’t really have much more to add than the usual – list as many works/people as you think are deserving of the awards. You’re not diluting your nomination by doing so – in fact, you’re ensuring a diverse ballot paper by doing so.
JF: Thanks Drusilla. Will you – will you help pimp my stuff?
DDD: You have GOT to be kidding. I read your collection, and you didn’t even write a story about Diprotodons.
JF: Well, I mentioned them in that one story.
DDD: You mean the one where your “drop bears” used to eat us. Whatever.
JF: [hands over a bucket of Haigh's chocolate and a new iPad]
DDD: It’s my pleasure to announce Jason Fischer’s Ditmar eligible works as follows:
Best Novella or Novelette
- “Everything is a Graveyard”, Jason Fischer, in Everything is a Graveyard, Ticonderoga Publications.
Best Short Story
- “Art, Ink”, Jason Fischer and Martin Livings, in Antipodean SF 180.
- “L’Hombre”, Jason Fischer, in Everything is a Graveyard, Ticonderoga Publications.
- “When the Cheerful Misogynist Came to True-Town”, Jason Fischer, in Everything is a Graveyard, Ticonderoga Publications.
Best Collected Work
- Everything is a Graveyard by Jason Fischer, edited by Russell B. Farr, Ticonderoga Publications.
DDD: So here’s a (possibly incomplete) list of eligible works, to help jog your memory should you be as sketchy as Mr. Fischer:
DDD: And here’s the nomination form:
JF: Thanks Drusilla. I’ll just be quietly leaving now.
DDD: [Eating sounds, shortly followed by snoring]